I sit here once again in Big Al's across the table from Jesse Braswell with the remains of food and drinks strewn across the table, our laptops out and sometimes getting work done. He is studying for a big chem test tomorrow - Marples was here earlier studying for it too, but he had to leave a little while back. I am studying for Literature of the Western World. At least I am trying. I probably could have gone to bed an hour ago, but I am still here. All I have to do is memorize 605 words for my essay, yet I can't really do it for some reason. I'm not really in the mood. My test isn't till 1:15 tomorrow. I have plenty of time.

We just had an amazing conversation. Those always seem to happen in the wee hours of the morning, don't they? I am worried, stressed, contemplating not being a vet and changing my major to French.

Not really. Don't worry. That would be scary.

I told Jesse this, since he is making his way to medical school, at this point, and knows the struggles that I am going through as a first year biology major. I'm not really sure when I realized that I was so discouraged about vet school. There are several reasons that I don't really feel like talking about right now, but if you want to know, ask. I'd be happy to have you pray for me that way.

Basically, this is what Jesse told me: you should first determine what you want. If you want something badly enough and if it's in accordance with the will of God, nothing can hold you back except for doubt. God is faithful and will help you through the tough times--the late nights, the desires to quit, the overwhelming feelings, the loneliness, and God will put friends in your life that are more than willing to help you. It is very easy to get discouraged, but you should do what you want. it sounds like it could use a lot of prayer. God tells us that if we lack wisdom or direction, pray, and He will grant it to us.

I was like WHOA.

I've realized that I totally don't spend enough time in prayer. At all. Ever. I get too distracted by things going on that I just don't make time for it. I need to have a set time a day that I will spend in prayer. EVERY DAY. Like a date with God. I think I'll do it. Anyone willing to keep me accountable?

God is so faithful and working in my life, even when I can't see it and am ignoring Him. Somehow He pushes through and opens my eyes and helps me turn back to face Him.

Thank You, Lord.