sometimes i wonder what the heck God has in store for my life. is this it? is this all there is? there has to be more, i just don't know what. am i destined to be a single girl who works at a retail store, desperately searching for a real job, while the rest of my friends get married, have kids, go to med school? is my best friend going to be an orange cat for the rest of my life? how to i get to a new place in life without losing my old life? where is God when i need him? why does crap happen?

at this point in my life, i've been having a huge problem with God. i love Him, i know He exists, i know He is a good God... i just don't feel like He's good to me. how do i get there?

i know i have a good, blessed life. i have wonderful parents who support and love me, great sisters, a beautiful country to live in, and a fantastic boyfriend who loves me for who i am and is committed to our relationship. then why isn't enough? why does something feel like it's missing?